Dating a recovering addict alcoholism

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I didn't drink and it made me stronger and more confident in the end, but it was the first time I dealt with some of those emotions sober in 20 years and it was a little hard to handle at first. Like many things in AA, the admonition not to date or make major changes in the first year is based on something that makes sense: the idea that in early recovery folks are still whirling around and need to take some time for themselves to regroup. Also, marriages, existing committed relationships, and children can't just be shelved for a more convenient time.

Those sayings and "rules" come from rehabs and detox centers and whatever else, but not from AA.

There are other options that are much better: -friend that knows about your situation -family member -therapist -AA/NA or other support groups -posting on SR -volunteering -professional relationships with co-workers Now I have not heard of this "no dating for a year" rule before so I don't have anything to say about who invented it or whether it is truly part of AA or not.

I think there is some wisdom to this rule/suggestion no matter where it came from, but I would not take the "one year" part literally, that's just my opinion.

I don't think that there's anything magic about 365 days. It would be too stressful for me, and it would be unfair to my date if I was unable to manage my emotions/stress of early sobriety and took it out on them.

Maybe one person is ready to start dating after 4 months, and another in 5 years, it all depends on the person. Maybe you want to date because you are lonely and feel dating may help you, and maybe even help you stay sober. I just think it is unfair to use an "innocent bystander" (a date) to deal with my feelings of loneliness and stress.

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