Dating is not a godly institution
I Had Sex with My Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Fiancé Before Marriage; Can We Still Get Married? What does the Bible say about same-sex marriage (gay marriage)?
Does the Bible Say a Wife Has to Obey and Be Submissive to Her Husband? The parents sometimes allowed their children to have a say in the choice, but frequently they did not (Genesis , 24:1-4, 38:6, Judges 14:1-2). The negotiations by the parents resulted in a betrothal, a binding agreement pledging the bride and groom to marriage.
But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult.
It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).
Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with their children. Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. I just have to keep looking.” Or you might have just missed him or her. All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage.
Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church. But through the years, God’s people allowed Satan to steal this gift. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. But I realize these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him?
Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously.
I am worried many failed marriages are the result of Christians pressuring people into something God did not design them for. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.