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I texted him a week after our third date to see if he wanted to "hang out," as we say, but he responded with a detailed account of -- oh-em-gee! A year ago, I met Pointy-Nosed Architect Fella at a gay bar.We gazed at each other across the room, but he was a shy one, and it wasn't until we found ourselves washing our hands next to each other in the bathroom that we chatted.He admitted that he "probably took it the wrong way" but that he "likes his space." He texted two days later to see if I wanted to "hang out," and I told him that I was apprehensive about ever seeing him again. He was so visually perfect that my throat got dry, and he helped me carry my groceries to my building. " "No, actually, but I'm definitely attracted to black guys, and you in particular." "I usually only like guys who have a thing for black men." "I've just never been with a black guy." "Yeah, but I generally only like guys whose fantasy is to be dominated by a black guy." It was all downhill from there.I had just moved to New York, and this whole experience made me feel like I was in a 21st-century independent film with clear Nora Ephron undertones. At one point, he inquired, "Do you have a thing for black men? We went on one dinner date, where we partook in delightful repartee, but, afterwards, we made out on the street, and he was clearly not into being with a guy who didn't have a Dominant Black Men baseball card collection.Things are moving too fast for our hearts to keep up.People are so busy running from person to person searching for "the one" that no one's holding still long enough to see whether they actually like who's in front of them. ( why he isn't showing his teeth in any of his pictures...) We don't have these issues when we meet someone in real life.
His hands looked irresistibly holdable, and he made you actually laugh when he made fun of Anne Hathaway. I met Gorgeous Biracial Finance Man on the 4 train heading downtown. And, in the case of both Gorgeous Biracial Finance Man and Pointy-Nosed Architect Fella, this is how people sometimes still do meet.We scheduled a second date, and the day before our planned reunion, I found myself in the neighborhood where he told me he worked.I had no intention of visiting him at his office -- obviously -- but I thought it would be cute to text him to let him know I was nearby thinking about him. My boss hates visitors," and the next day he cancelled our scheduled date, citing the fact that he was "a little put off by things from yesterday." I made it clear that I had no intention of visiting him at work; I'd just met him! I met this Jason Taylor lookalike when we made gay eyes at each other on the subway.Today, however, you can find a guy on Grindr for some no-strings-attached (or NSA, as the abbrev goes) fun, meet up, do your business, and rejoin your wife and kids at church when you're done.Your needs can all be met without your ever having to lead the life of a gay man, which, particularly in a conservative small town, is a painful life to lead.